I'm Tired.........I"m Tired... I'm Tired......

Do you know what it's like to be without a car, house, a job and no money but have faith.. I"m telling you ask God why he is taking you through.. I know why he took me through . He told me he had to retrain me.. So that I would stop depending on a MAN and start depending and trusting on HIM... God had to teach me that he is my provider and that he would supply all my needs. I kept getting in the way trying to do it on my own.. I told God from this moment on I am going to be still.. I'm tired of repeating the same test.. Lord I release I give you all of me. No more sugar daddies... I have a sugar daddy as long as I can remember and I thought that worked for me.. Because I didn't have to commit.. lord I trust you..


See all that comes with a price and its to expensive. I'm more then my hips and thighs or whats between my legs... I require so much more. Even if that means losing everything, giving up everything and starting over. Even if that means being homeless.. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired you do something different. I don't care about anyone talking about me or laughing at me.. I'm doing whats best for me. I have watched some of my closest friend marry my x boyfriends.. I've watch people that said they were for me only be around for what I could do for them.....Or in a better terms for my contacts.. as I step into my own as a child of God and grown woman.. I demand so much more.. I have raised my Bar and refuse to let it down again.. To fit or meet the approval of others.. So go ahead and talk and laugh.. What God is getting ready to do for me I will say it will all be worth it..


I got tired of being the other woman, I got tired of being with the different men, I got tired of the different spirits in me, on me and around me.. I got tired of someone doing something for me then throwing it up in my face. I got tired of having the thrill, the money, and then still feeling alone, lonely,hurt, nasty, and disappointed... I got tired of you have some big titties, nice lips.. Well your not telling me something I don't no, is that all you see when you look at me.. I got tired of just good sex or trying to turn out the next because I figure I could.. Because I was labeled as a BAD WOMAN... To prove what to who.. for a nut that may have lasted minutes...So once I did all this then what.. COme on now.. I tired.....Getting drunk to the point where I can't remember but I call myself a lady.. No one holding me accountable but giving me more drinks like that was cute.. Yet I am responsible for my own actions. Picking up a bottle was my excuse no it was what I called my courage but in the end.. All it did was really make me speak my mind even more than I already do.. What I look like chosen a man but that was that aggressiveness coming out...I AM NOT A MAN... So yeah its time I stop acting like one.. I carried so much hurt and pain.. Not anymore.. I'm walking in my destiny....


Its funny I call or text it may take him a couple of days to respond, but as soon as I text and say I need some then it seems as if I don't get the whole text out before I get a reply.. Noooooo I'm tired of being a door mate, used and abused.


Its not a good feeling to feel you have no one and yeah, its plenty of times I feel this way.. but I can say through it all I know I have Jesus if I don't have anyone else.... I had a wake up call today that changed my life.... It wasn't nothing but GOD that the act wasn't carried out.. You see I damn near RAPED today by someone I thought was my FRIEND.. I was in a situation and because they felt I was in a situation they thought they could take advantage of me. But my God interceded on my behalf.. So I owe him my life. I"m TIRED...


Funny thing is I reached out to a couple of people only one picked up and it was one that don't know me from Adam.. Yet they were there to motivate me through what I was going through... As I finish this.. I leave today just where it is.. There is nothing else I need to speak on or about this situation....


You should never have to lower your standard for someone. I learned a very valuable lesson out of this.. I see why GOD chose ME...

So I'm stripping myself of people ole things and things that are not helping me walk in to my destiny. I was told I would never be nothing, never amount to anything.... I still hear those words ring in my ear like a bell. I had a nerves break down felt like my life was over and I just didn't want and couldn't live anymore.. Devil you are a liar God didn't take me through all of this for it not to have a meaning and for me not to be able to be a witness and a voice to someone else. I told the lord I just can't take no more.. he said its the process, I've got to process you. So who are you to judge me when you don't no what I'm going through.. I just can't take no more. So for those of you out there that don't want to go through don't want to suffer and don't want to be with out..


Let that pride GO... I'm telling you it gets old I'm not talking about something I heard I'm talking about what I've been doing for years and going through for years. I'm cleaning up my own mess and if that leave me without.. I know God will give it back to me 10 folds. With me right now God is cleaning.... Me up getting me ready for something Major.. I have ran and fought it to long.. I'm tired of running


I see the devil is really trying to take me out.. Devil you are a liar... To anyone that's truly for me and my friend respect the path that I'm on and I have chosen.. I have to do whats best for me and my life.. I can't keep going through the same thing and not passing the same test.. So its going to be times you ask me to hang out with you.. and I may decline if its not inline with where I'm trying to go.. Don't get offend... I have to do ME....Ms.K.Simpson...